It veered on to oncoming traffic, crashed, and burned in a fiery fiery death. It was tragic. I contemplated shedding an artificial tear.
Such was the text I received from Joan regarding a question I asked of her. Something about it captivates me. The imagery... it truly feels like a snip bit of literary beauty, of her soul.
It was a full moon almost 21 hours ago. The effects of it continue. I am craving blood and have no access to any fresh blood. I've tried period blood of my own before, and it did not appeal to me... but seeing as I was checking if my pj's were going to be okay while I sit here and type up my blog, and there was already some on my finger... I gave it a second chance. Yum, yum, yum! Something coursed through me as the smell and taste infiltrated me. I suspect it was the taste and smell of my cunt juices more so than the blood itself, actually. I am still rather unimpressed by that part. But seeing as they are coming together today, I might as well take both. *smells hand again* It truly sends me somewhere else. My body starts moving in random places, expressing a craving that is difficult to control. My mind goes blank. I feel like a detoxing drug addict immediately after it's all gone and I've lapped up every last drop. What an interesting thing to explore.
I should be sleeping (12 hour shift tomorrow), but evidently there are things I need to get out. I was going to write about... Perry, as well as my dog's new trainer (let's call him Gregory.)
Well, Perry... is odd. She sent me a lovely package of gifts (loose leaf tea, a packet of fake drinkable blood, some delicious vegan chocolate sweets, hand cream and a cipher to puzzle over.) The cipher, to my disappointment, was not of her imagination but from a newspaper. I have yet to try the blood, as I am so amused by it, but all of the other gifts were muchly appreciated (even the cipher, as it did entertain me for a good hour or so.) In another package, she sent me my bike lock bracket (yay! now for me to find the actual lock, lol...) and a notebook with her letter to me. The idea is that we will send the notebook back and forth but, to be honest, I cannot afford that. And the notebook is ugly. So yeah. Anyways, I shall compile a package for her when the inspiration hits me. There's a particular type of tea she wants from a tea house here, and I might send her some Kegel exercise balls for her to develop her muscles on, depending on how expensive they are here. I don't know what else to send her, but perhaps I will find something. Er... and I will write her a letter. Wherein I may deliberate about how communicating over text long-distance constantly, without knowing when I will see her next isn't really my thing. She came out to visit me a month or so ago for a few days, and, well... I much more enjoy seeing her *often* but in a more lighthearted manner, than all the time. I talked to Alex about this when I went to visit him, and he reminded me that back when we were crashing at her place, I found her wayyyy too intense to live with - and only really started to enjoy her once we moved out and I only saw her in short bursts of time. So yes... that is something I may attempt to explain to her. Visiting each other for the soul purpose of *seeing each other* is just too much. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy vey. The frustrating part is that when I tried to explain the whole not-so-much-with-the-texting thing over text, she just made fun of the whole deal. Said it was better than nothing. Talked about her awesome voice and her other great attributes. I'm all for self-confidence and such, but this felt a little over the top; almost desperate. It annoyed me to a great extent, and I ended up simply deleting the message thread from my phone. Done, done, and gone. Gah.
Now, Gregory. He came this Monday to do the initial consult with my dog and I. Let's give my dog a name... Ginger. Ginger is a 8 1/2 month old black lab cross. He is gorgeous, ridiculously smart, and totally not under control (especially since I moved back to the parental abode, and everyone just kinda... interacts with him whichever way they please.) I also haven't gotten him neutered yet, so I'm sure that's another factor in his behaviour. Anyways, he will be fine. He's a smart dog and wants to please... he's just a puppy and a trickster. On to Gregory. He rang the doorbell and I answered the door. When he saw me his eyebrows jumped as he walked in, mouthed my name in a questioning tone and shook my hand, introducing himself. My sister was upstairs and said that she, herself, heard the surprise in his voice as well. I was intrigued and surprised, myself. He is young-looking for his age (whatever that age is). Cute. "Adorable but old," my sister said. By "old," I would guess... 31? 34? 29? ...ish? She's a teenager... so apparently that is old to her, lol. It was a fun interaction. He spent an hour and 15 minutes with Ginger and I (well, actually, less with me as he took Ginger out for a run to "get rid of some of the excess energy" without me.) The three of us went for a walk and he told me a bit more about dogs, their body language, and how I should be correcting Ginger. He demonstrated for the first part, then let me take over with Ginger. He continued instructing me at a distance, noting a particularly good correction, etc. We both smiled lots, and I tended to chuckle and laugh. I... it's not a crush. In fact, one little stance of his that I saw just once may very well point to him being gay. That's not even the point. It was just a fun outing, and it was like we spoke the same language. I knew he was teaching me so I could train Ginger. I knew he was showing Ginger who's the boss, and in a way showing me how to be that - and the fact that he is my trainer, too. There were moments when Ginger was being the perfect dog while I was relaxed and looking straight ahead at the road - and it felt amazing. I've had these moments since, while walking Ginger again.
I continued grinning well after Gregory left.
Sleep well, friends.
