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Sky wrote a particular entry (With my hands up, you got me now) that inspired me to start writing again. There was a quote from a Dom that wrote to her, and her subsequent emotional response as a submissive. It reminded me of my interchange with KittyBoy, when I came over to his place just a few days ago. He is so sure of his non-kinkiness, and this very well may be the case. His skin is incredibly sensitive, marks very easily, low pain tolerance on the surface(vs. work-out-type muscle pain, which I would assume is high for him, as he does quite a bit of body training.) Awesome to work with! I was pondering consent afterward, as I randomly do. It is interesting that no verbal consent was taken or given, nor were we doing a "scene." He is an old ex, one I see a couple times a year due to circumstance and/or emotional readiness - and perhaps we will see each other more often now, who knows. We're very comfortable with each other, cuddling and such. It's nice. It's warm. It's a brilliant and perfect gateway to us testing out each others' boundaries and desires. I don't mind his attempts at topping me, as I enjoy the physical sensation of someone's hand at my throat, even if it often amuses me to see the other person try or assume that it comes with a mental level of domination (which is possible, but not at this stage in my life, not with all the wrong people, not while I'm in topping mode.)

I am back from work, now - had to cut myself short, before. I am going to a roundtable discussion on mentorship in the kink community next week (location confirmed!) I'm excited to meet some old and new faces, hear what people have to say... perhaps even find someone who I can see eye to eye to on some issues, or perhaps knife to knife, flogger to flogger? *grins*

Back to KittyBoy, I really enjoy the fact that I took the lead. I am ready to admit that, hey... I like hurting people; I like handing out pain, withholding pain, increasing pain, leading people to like pain, showing people different kinds and how far its effects can go. I love giving pain even if it wasn't asked for. Let's face it, I enjoy giving pain, as well as all sorts of domination in general, in a different, sick and twisted way - even when the other does not want it at all. I acknowledge that, and I do not indulge my sadistic side in the 'true' meaning of the word.

Aight, now sis is in the room so I shall finish this tomorrow... ciao! :)
And I'm back. It's fun to follow all the interruptions it takes for me to finish this post. Yay.

In my ever-growing path of coming out as queer, kinky, etc., I've run into some fun situations. Like coming out to my parents over and over again without any change in the level of acceptance (i.e. denial) when it comes to my liking people - picky as I am, gender is not one of my main considerations. Unless I just want to taste the entire rainbow before choosing my part of the spectrum!

I wonder how I would feel if I was in a D/s relationship with someone that went beyond the bedroom. Whether my emotional balance would be different if the power was exchanged as opposed to divided, balanced, compromised. For me to give concise directions on how I want to be treated and interacted with, on how I want my sub to behave (and misbehave). To care for someone, treat them as a Being, but have them submit. I won't say human Being, simply because I do not place value of a human life over another life - but I figured I would clarify the extent to which I value respect and mutual admiration in any interaction.

I have a vagina. Does that mean I have a "wound between my legs," as Isabel Allende's countryfolk say? It means I couldn't pound someone with a real cock. I am of 'the weaker sex,' and these considerations (both from society's perspective and my own) are utterly, utterly depressing.
I have a CUNT. Does that mean I will write myself a Womanifesto, as Inga Muscio tells me? Will I carry it with me to refer to for those bad days? What are those bad days, anyways? Certainly not when I'm bleeding - unless I am living with folk who do a lot of emotional arm twisting, but then there are bad days all the time:

 



Now think about the baby vaguely understanding what the parent *just said* to them up there. Awesome, hey?!

There is a lot more to ramble on about, but this has been sufficiently long.